Friday, March 18, 2011

Halloweaster Fool's Day (In which I, while drunk and watching several basketball games at once, propose a new national holiday tradition)

Craig Sager via Searching for Slava

I had to burn two vaction days to enjoy two of the best days of the year getting a little bit 'faced. To fix this, inspired by Craig Sager's suit, I propose merging Halloween, Easter, and April Fool's into one two-day national holiday.

When to celebrate? Now! The first two days of the NCAA Tournament are the logical days to convert to holidays.

How to celebrate this holiday mash up while honoring it's traditional roots? We would all dress as zombie bunnies or chicks (or Craig Sager), play pranks on one another, and get kinda drunk all day, while monitoring our brackets.

Currently, the problem with Halloween and April Fool's is they are not actual holidays, which is a shame. Meanwhile, Easter, which is religiously divisive and kind of mental is. It's madness.

If we merge them all into one, we can leverage and slightly expand on Easter's recognized status to make the three days a two-day holiday, thus allaying corporate concerns about productivity by pre-emptively offering compromise.

It suddenly occurs to me I have completely forgotten about St. Paddy's. I think this new holiday should fold it in as well to simplify things. St. Halloweaster Fool's Day? The nomenclature is getting unwieldy. No matter.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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