The War on #Festivus

What the fuck is the happy festivus
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) December 23, 2012

What does it say about our culture when our great traditions not only aren't celebrated, but are forgotten and neglected?! Or worse ...

Current Facebook status: Unfriending anyone who mentions "Festivus."
— Jewdolph the Redhead (@OhNoSheTwitnt) December 23, 2012

It's one thing to be ostracized on Festivus, but the real indignity is when misguided thought-control goons try to twist it into something perverted ...

Festivus for the Rest of Us: how Seinfeld's anti-holiday might help us keep Jesus central in our Christmas dsr.gd/RbVJXT
— Desiring God (@desiringgod) December 23, 2012

Edit: Sheikie has turned the corner on Festivus but apparently still not able to forgive Michael Richards ...

I respect the festivus but want to beat the fuck out of the kramer now he can go fuck himself
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) December 23, 2012

"What-ho!"

Had a Barnes & Noble gift card from the holidays burning a hole in my pocket and a strong desire to get out of the office at lunch time today. The first bin of DVDs (they're currently buy-two-get-one-free) as I walked in happened to include the old Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry Jeeves and Wooster collections. I greeted the clerk with a jaunty "What-ho!" as I laid Series 1-3 on the counter with my gift card. I don't think he heard me as I expected an equally jaunty "What-ho!" in reply. Either that or he was doing a very good Jeeves.

Festivus Traditions: The Airing of Grievances. "I've got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're going to hear about it."

This is where, in the spirit of intolerance and ingratitude, I vent the things people have done to disappoint me this year.

1. You were the car dealerships practicing bait and switch. Luring me into your dealership with prices you have no intention of honoring, pretending you know nothing about the promotion I'm referring to until I make you bring it up on your computer and show it to you. Then, you suddenly remember something about residuals or non-negotiable fees.
2. You didn't vote this year or, worse, voted for a homophobic, two-faced, sub-moron bent on ruining the national economy and destroying what limited ability the government has to function as a force for justice and the protection of our civil liberties.
3. You tail-gated me when I couldn't get in the right lane, then zipped past me once I finally could, then cut in front of me without using your turn signal, and then ... you slowed down! You drive like [expletive deleted]. It doesn't impress me that you've got an anti-Obama bumper sticker on your trunk either. No, I'm not thrilled with the execution of the "hopey-changey stuff" I was promised but your guy was still the worse option and can you please make your former VP candidate / half-Governor / caribou-slaying snowbilly grifter go away!
4. Then there's all y'all that were awarded a Glasgow kiss this past year. 

Feels good to have gotten all that stuff off my chest. I'm ready to engage in Feats of Strength. It's a Festivus miracle!

San Antonio, here I come ...

Heading out bright and early (dark and early, actually) tomorrow for a quick trip to San Antonio. Back before Festivus as long as there are no flight delays.

Nice. Looks like I won't need to pack a jacket.

The Santa supremacy: Peter Bradshaw's top Christmas movies (A thoughtful case for "Trading Places")

The Santa supremacy: Peter Bradshaw's top Christmas movies | Film | The Guardian:

The smart thing about Trading Places is that it conjures up the 'family' trope of the Christmas movie, not in the usual sense, but by suggesting that, in combining to combat the Duke brothers' evil, Murphy, Aykroyd, Curtis and Elliott have become a sort of family themselves. If, as a Christmas treat, I was made controller of BBC1 and was allowed to choose what film to schedule at 5pm on Christmas Day every year, it would be Trading Places.

Happy holidays? - This Modern World

Happy holidays? - This Modern World - Salon.com:

This Modern World via Salon.

A new This Modern World is another Festivus miracle!

It's a Festivus miracle! Inmate Uses 'Festivus' to Score Better Meals - Argues 'religion' means he needs a kosher diet

Inmate Uses 'Festivus' to Score Better Meals - Argues 'religion' means he needs a kosher diet:

(Newser) – Here’s a Festivus miracle for you: An inmate in an Orange County Jail managed to get better food for months by saying he needed it to adhere to the “religion” of Festivus. Malcolm Alarmo King is a health nut, the Orange County Register explains, who didn’t want to eat the jail’s all-salami menu, so he asked for kosher, high-protein meals. The sheriff’s department complained that such pricier fare was reserved for those with religious restrictions. So King’s lawyer listed his religion as “Festivus.”

Festivus is a not a religion, or a 'religion,' so the headline is a little misleading. It's a (fake) holiday. "A Festivus for the rest of us," as we all know. But, not being real, or at least recognized/official, doesn't stop it being from being awesome.

I turn 40 on Festivus!

It's not too late send your presents in time for my 40th / Festivus celebration! In lieu of gifts, you could also make a donation, in your own name -- don't drag me into mailing-list hell with you! (unless you flipped a few bucks to the Freedom From Religion Foundation, they've already got my info -- and just let me know about it. I will consider that a Festivus miracle!

Click image for a list of (real!) secular charities.

For the Rest of Us

Happy Festivus!

My wife got me a GameCube for Festivus, so I can skip the Airing of Grievances and move directly to Feats of Strength. Where's Mega at?