Noooooooooooooooo!!

Newport Grand Seeks Permission to End Jai-Alai. I've been going every other week or so this season, having a great time each outing. Been making modest gains overall, despite one utter loss of a trip, with my 1-2-3 Q box and occasional 4-1-8 Trifecta wagering strategy. I love jai-alai. I was bummed I missed out on the Whack the Wall competition last week and can't wait for the chance to make an easy hunny next time they run it. If there is a next time. Stupid slot monkeys are killing me -- killing jai-alai. Why sit there and pump quarters into a ching-a-ching-a-ching machine when you can enjoy an evening of watching an exciting sport and still get your wager on? C'mon, get into the fronton! Mace, portliest of the players, needs you! And Hoey, strong armed but so maddeningly inconsistent! And Jaime, who lays it out for every point! These guys are living the dream and it's great fun to watch 'em play.



This is it for the Northeast. Hartford, Bridgeport, and Milford are gone already. If Newport dies, jai-alai is consigned to grainy monitors in scumbag holes like Lincoln Park. Stupid Rhode Islanders, the greatest live entertainment value in the state is wasted on you.



Shame on Newport Grand for failing to promote their product. I think I've seen one ad for it in all the time I've lived here. All they needed to do was get one infomercial on opposite the Set It and Forget It Rotisserie guy to draw a crowd. But, no. They let it languish in obscurity and put up slot machine billboards instead. Nice move.



Gambling's not for everybody. Some people should never get near it. I feel a bit like the guy who drew up Joe Camel as I sit here and pimp for jai-alai. But, it really does meet an entertainment need. It's wagering for people who think slots are for zombies and dog racing is a brutal and revolting display of animal cruelty staged for degenerates. Having a few beers and a slice of pizza while watching and wagering on a couple hours of quality jai-alai doesn't have to cost more than $30 bucks. It's not a wicked expensive night out, especially if you did nothing but bet the quinela 1-2 in the last ten games of the night -- most nights you'd get at least some of your money back, if not come out ahead on the deal.



Follow Up: Jai Alai Players Protest for Jobs, The Pawtucket Times. Mike Warner, an announcer at the fronton, said the Newport Grand owners are "virtually sabotaging the game. They purposely tried to tank the operation." Asked for details, Warner said he wanted to wait until there are legislative hearings on the question of eliminating the live games. He said jai alai could be made profitable again "if they used a more aggressive and creative (advertising) campaign." He could have said, "if they used any kind of advertising campaign at all."

The Cognitive Dissonance Engine

Thanks to a tip off from Mega, I just caught a hilarious exchange between Molly Ivins, Bill O'Reilly, and Al Franken on CSPAN2. I think it pretty well encapsulated what they each stand for as individuals and what their respective schools of thought stand for: progressivism, which is seeking to apply principled reasoning to problems in the context of searching for truth and justice under the rule of law; and, right-wing corporatism, the goal of which is to remove any obstacle (ie., the rule of law) which hinders the wealthy from plundering the resources of the world for the personal gain of a privileged few, hypocritically appropriating the language of democracy and reason without any intent of practicing what they preach. It was a giddy pleasure to watch Franken call O'Reilly a liar, back up his assertion with facts (actual facts, not Orwellian "no spin zone facts"), and then to watch O'Reilly flounder, spout his propaganda, and use his empty rhetorical bullshit to try and spin his way out of facing the truth. O'Reilly kills me. He'll stand there and say he's above ideology and name calling then immediately turn around and start name calling in the service of a his warped ideology. I'm trying to imagine how Rupert Murdoch was able to secretly abduct and blackmail the world's greatest scientists and engineers and coerce them to make such an astounding leap forward in metallurgy that they were able to forge titanium/diridium skull plating capable of withstanding the Strong Bullshit Forces whorling around in O'Reilly's head generated by the Cognitive Dissonance Engine that powers his mouth. I'm afraid for anyone within a mile radius of the Doomsday Singularity perched on his neck that isn't protected by at least twelve feet of steel-reinforced concrete barrier. When the energy of that many lies and contradictions compressed into such a small, pin-shaped object is finally and catastrophically released, I expect it will have the destructive force of all the WMDs Bush and Rumsfeld instructed intelligence gathering agencies to fabricate the existence of in Iraq.

Foreign Policy in the Crossfire

I wouldn't normally think, "I should make sure I catch the next Charlie Rose." Tonight though he's got Eric Alterman and Christopher Hitchens on. Might actually be interesting. I'm sure Charlie will find a way to drag the conversation down to his usual level mind-numbing banality ... still, the potential for engaging debate is there.

Good News for Boston Area Kung Fu Movie Fans

Skip past the first four paragraphs of this article and check out the good news about Saturdays this summer.

One of my many brilliant ideas (waiting for a massive pile of cash to fall from the sky into my lap before it can get off the ground) is to open a cinema pub with a comprehensive New England micro- and local brewery bar for screening classic action movies. Come in Friday night for a screening of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and a pint of Elm City Amber Ale (a personal fave), or wait until the following Saturday afternoon and take in "Drunken Master 2" with your Olde Buzzard Lager. Sounds like the Allston Bombay has at least got the movie side of things covered.

If I Were In Charge Of Telling People What To Do...

I would, among other things, tell Joss Whedon to get working on a new Doctor Who series for American TV. And, by the way, I've already cast Sammo Hung as the Doctor. Snarkily, you're saying to yourself, "That's why C-Dog is not in charge of telling people what to do." It's sad how you don't appreciate my particular genius.