Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sheen's Truth Torpedo Leaves Bitter Taste (From Porn Stars' Lips to Potential Ticket-Buyers' Ears)

So there's all this rumpus about a bunch of suckers booing Charlie Sheen off the stage in Detroit. Comedians on twitter are all over it, you can find reference to it on just about any news site (must be a slow day, I mean we're only involved in three wars [or have I lost count?], recovering from a fraud induced economic meltdown while our politicians try to continue serving their corporate masters -- y'know, stuff like that), and even I, who knows it's beneath me to comment, am taking a minute to note it. Why? Well, for me, it's just to say ... suckers, you get what you deserve. I mean, what did you think this hastily assembled tour would be apart from a transparent scheme to separate you from your (hard-earned?) money?

If you bought a ticket to one of the upcoming shows, like the one at Foxwoods I just heard advertised on the radio, you might want to consider trying to get your money back. If no refunds allowed, maybe you can contact your credit card company and say someone must've used your card as a prank, failing that maybe you can find some other functionally retarded individual to buy it from you?  Also, since you seem to like giving your money to someone who clearly has no respect for you, for a product that is obviously worthless, I would like to sell you something for $146.00. Contact me and I'll give you the paypal address to which to send your payment. What is it?  Oh, don't you worry, it will be better than any drug-addled truth torpedo Sheen might be peddling. It could be an original work of art (a doodle), something from my "donate" or "trash" piles from a recent attic cleaning, or something else entirely. What do you care? You're an indiscriminately wasteful sub-moron with more money than you know what to do with.

Why even blame Sheen? How about blaming the Live Nation sword lenders who thought it'd be cool to send a mentally ill guy w/ no act on tour?Sun Apr 03 05:32:09 via Echofon

@pattonoswalt   Yer a jealous bitch cause yer kids can't hear stories bout you doing coke, punching women & fucking whores on tv. Loser.Sun Apr 03 04:09:46 via TweetDeck

Morons who went 2 Charlie Sheens Show yesterday r screaming cause it sucked. Today they'll go back 2 screaming abt Obamas birth certificate.Sun Apr 03 18:52:41 via TweetDeck
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