Bad news if your morning routine is a quick shag, followed by a black eye, and a round of determined, thunderous pooping

BBC News - Sex and coffee 'trigger stroke': 

I thought for sure sneezing would make the list.

Dr Vlak advised that: 'Reducing caffeine consumption or treating constipated patients with unruptured intracranial (brain) aneurysms with laxatives may lower the risk of subarachnoid haemorrhage.'

I'm going to assume that if coffee has a laxative effect on you, it's a wash.