Wednesday, December 13, 2000

My Top 5 Movies of 2000

(updated 12/14/00)

I only saw 22 movies in the theaters this year, but I figure most if not all of the movies I didn't see were crap. I haven't looked at any film top this or that lists, so my judgement hasn't been swayed by critical opinion. It actually wasn't hard to narrow the list down to five either; this was a bad year for film. In fact, one of my Top 5 is a foreign movie that's several years old, but only got released here this year. And so, with minimal commentary, here they are:

5. "Shanghai Noon" Starring: Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. Just a decent little comedy with people kicking each other. Jackie and Lucy Liu will both be on this list again. Beats out "Small Time Crooks," "Keeping the Faith," "Nurse Betty," and "Best in Show" which were also passable-to-above-average comedies. It just wasn't a strong year.

4. "Charlie's Angels" Starring: Crispin Glover, Cameron Diaz, & Lucy Liu. Yeah, I left out Drew Barrymore on account of I can't stand her. Sure, Yuen Woo Ping rehashed his "Matrix" effects to further prove he can make anybody look like they can fight, but redundant Yuen Woo Ping is still better than the incompetent crap that passed for action in "Gladiator."

3.5 "Ghost Dog" Starring: Forrest Whittaker. Forrest is the Toshiro Mifune of our generation.

3.25 "High Fidelity" Starring: John Cusak, Jack Black. I forgot that I saw "Ghost Dog" and this one this year, hence their hasty insertion into the middle of this post.

3. "Drunken Master" Starring: Jackie Chan, Ti Lung, & Anita Mui. Actually the best movie released this year, but since it's actually like 7 years old, I'm going to let the 1 & 2 slots go to new movies.

2. "The Way of the Gun" Starring: Benicio Del Toro, some other guy, and James Caan. I'm an action movie guy. This is an action movie guy's action movie. If you didn't like it, it's because your panties were too tight.

1. "The Tao of Steve" Starring: Some fatty who's slimmed down and has a sitcom coming to Fox. The closest thing to a "Swingers" to be released this year.

There it is. C-Dog's Top 5. I didn't see "Angela's Ashes" or "Billy Elliott" (I'm not holding my breath either) and I'm still waiting for "CT,HD" which H.D. is seeing tonight, to make it to the sticks. I'm perfectly willing to admit there may have been better movies released this year, but I bet not by much if at all. Honorable mentions? "X-Men" ... uh ... "Unbreakable" ... "Romeo Must Die." I'm tapped. Ooh, almost forgot "The Girl on the Bridge," which was actually pretty darn good only it's French -- and the French, to paraphrase a recent editorial comment in "The Economist," are morons* and can't make my list. Almost as bad as Canadians, they are.

* The comment was actually along the lines of how the French should devote more of their newspaper ink to Silicon Valley and less to Palm Beach so that "they might learn something useful."
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