|Chris Christie, bless your true heart.|
... [E]ach candidate was prompted to offer what their Secret Service code name would be if they were elected president, and holy hell was each answer absolutely nuts.
Here are the candidates’ real, actual answers, each of which delivers such a perfect morsel of conservative id:
Chris Christie: “True Heart”
John Kasich: “Unit One”
Carly Fiorina: “Secretariat”
Scott Walker: “Harley”
Jeb Bush: “Ever-Ready”
Donald Trump: “Humble”
Ben Carson: “One Nation”
Ted Cruz: “Cohiba”
Marco Rubio: “Gator”
Mike Huckabee: “Duck Hunter”
R[and] Paul: “Justice Never Sleeps”It would be almost impossible to improve upon these. I can't decide which is the most hilarious. Fiorina's though, she must be trolling us, or something ... I mean, you can't talk about it without her being able to run a campaign ad off anything you could possibly say.
One of the funniest comments I've heard about these analyze these as what the candidates actually call their penises. Again, Fiorina wins.
That Rand didn't go with "Aqua Buddha" defies belief.
You can't make fun of them though unless you're willing to put your Presidential Secret Service Code Name out there.
Me, I'd be: "Dice Man," because "cdogzilla," would blow my cover. No, wait, idiots would think it's an Andrew Dice Clay reference. Umm ... shoot, this is harder than I thought ... "Big Gorilla One," that's me.