New ☆ Tweet from @badjokebaton

Someone asked me what I saw myself doing in 5 years time. I said, not sure, it's not like I have 2020 vision.

— The Baton (@badjokebaton) March 18, 2015

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It's either an extremely dial-twisted intuition pump, or just funny. Or both.

Brain in a Vat

A: Brain in Vat Trolley Driver becomes a Dice Man.

ᔥ Canavan

#FF @jazzdab Inside the Belt-Quay Humor

Tweet source: @jazzdab | Image source: Digital Trends

Netflix Instant Alert: "American: The Bill Hicks Story" now streaming

Netflix: American: The Bill Hicks Story:

Since his tragic death from cancer at age 32, comedian Bill Hicks's legend and stature have only grown, and this unique documentary tells his story, blending live footage, interviews and animation to fill in the details of a life cut short. A comic's comic and unflagging critic of hypocrisy and cultural emptiness, Hicks was one of a kind, a Lenny Bruce for the late 20th century, and few are more deserving of this in-depth biographic treatment.

#FF @edyong209 for working the Jackie Chan reference into the rock-paper-scissors joke

In what way does paper beat rock? It makes no sense. It's like saying duvet beats missile or tent beats Jackie Chan.Wed Jun 22 08:42:48 via EchofonEd Yong
edyong209

Remember the shanty town in Police Story?

The display case later ...

Point well taken.

Ask Reddit 20 second or less joke thread

What are the best jokes you know that make others laugh in less that 20 seconds? : AskReddit:

3 Men At A Bar image via Michael Jones Art

American guy, English guy, and Irish guy go into a pub -- each order a pint. Fly drops in the American's beer; he grunts and drinks it down, fly and all. Fly drops in the Englishman's beer; he says 'my word' and demands a new beer. Fly drops in the Irishman's beer; he grabs the fly and shouts 'SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!'

Seth Myers killing at WHCD (Assuming, like me, you missed it due to Doctor Who)

Seth Myers

I thought somebody would set me straight ...

... I didn't expect it would Josh Malina, in mensch fashion, responding that the Dalai Lama never did nothin' to him. He's just playin'.

@cdogzilla Nothing. I like him. I've gone to hear him speak. Just jokes, dude.Tue Apr 12 05:24:55 via Twitter for MacJoshua Malina
JoshMalina

Anyways, I reckon if HHDL can deal with the stuff China's done to him and his countrymen, he doesn't need me getting all defensively weird on his behalf. Not that anybody wants or needs my say-so but, please, carry on ...

Also, reserve Backwash at a Redbox near you!

Pop Culture Touchstones I'm Late to the Game On: Bill Hicks

That's right, I've never watched Bill Hicks perform. I'm not huge into stand up comedy, but I've L'dMAO at some guys on late night TV over the years, and have watched and loved at least one full set (if not many in some of these cases) of: George Carlin, Steven Wright, Jake Johanssen, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby, Patton Oswalt, Louis C.K., Robin Williams, Richard Pryor, Denis Leary, and probably a few others I'm just not recalling but will kick myself later for forgetting. I've been to a couple comedy clubs over the years. 'Til now though, I've never seen so much as a clip of Bill Hicks, the comic usually rated as the greatest of them all.

It's embarrassing. It's like saying you love country music but never heard of Hank Williams. Or, you love poetry, but Walt Who? I like to think I'm fairly cultured. I've read broadly; I know my music pretty well; check my flickchart -- I've watched a ton of movies; I'm not a sports nut (some might disagree) but I can talk to you with varying degrees of expertise about everything from baseball to college basketball, American football to football, professional poker to international cricket, jai-alai to boxing; I've watched a play on Broadway, Shakespeare in Spring Green, WI, and Mamet at TheaterWorks in Hartford. I'm not bragging, you may know more about some, even all, of those things than I do and I'd be happy to lose an argument about any of them if I learned something from it ... all I'm saying is, I'm no slouch.

And yet, still, there are these gaping holes. I can't even explain why, it's not like I've avoided Hicks; I think, in part, it's that I've never flipped channels and stumbled on him, and the few times I've listened to a comedy channel on satellite radio, I've never heard one of his bits. So, I've just kicked off a video on Netflix streaming to see what I've been missing. So far (a few minutes in), so good.

I used to drink ... I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk, I'd get out and start dancin' to their lights thinking I'd made it another club, man. "Hey, what is this, a leather bar?"

Next time on PCTILTTGO, Forrest Gump. (Maybe. It just looks so awful. And all those horrible "Life is like a box of chocolates," impressions over the years. This is one I have studiously avoided.)