All my dreams about power boats and cars without mufflers are starting to make sense.

Apparently, I snore something fierce. I've always found it hard to believe because it seemed impossible that a sound as loud and obnoxious as what people have described is something I could sleep through. My roommate assures me my snoring is thunderous. His room is downstairs and down the hall from mine. My girlfriend says it's like having someone start a chainsaw next to her head in the middle of the night. Then there's this 'alien noise' I make as, I'm told, I jerk awake for a moment to start breathing again. (I find it hard to believe I wouldn't remember waking up from suffocating, but my girl assures me she's not teasing.) Though I was sceptical about the snoring being that disruptive, I agreed to try Breathe Right strips. The name brand seems to work about half the time. Generic CVS brand doesn't work at all. MSNBC reports there's an 'easy solution'. This is the 'easy solution'. A machine that forces pressurized air into my head through a mask. Yeah, that should aid my sleeping. Not to mention, how big is this machine? What kind of noise does it make? Who can wear a mask while they sleep? Do they just give these things away? I'm not rich, y'know. Sleep apneacs of the world, please help! I got spammed with an ad for a sling once that's supposed to keep your mouth shut and force you to breathe through your nose ... would that work? Any suggestions?