Friday, April 19, 2002

Last joke for the night

I can't remember where I heard or read this one, so it's from memory (ie., probably not told right) but here goes:
This guy needs to get these penguins to the zoo for the grand opening of Penguin 2K2. It's like this big new exhibit of penguins, or all the old penguins died, but anyways this guy's got a truckload of penguins and the zoo opens in an hour and he's got to get them there quick cos the mayor's going to be there and it's being filmed for Animal Planet. About 20 miles from the zoo, his truck breaks down on the interstate. Or he gets a flat and doesn't have a spare. In any event, he's screwed. He's contractually obliged to get the penguins to the zoo *on time* and if he doesn't he'll never get work transporting animals again. For zoos. He calls a garage from one of those emergency roadside phones. The mechanic tells him he must stay with the truck and that they can be there in 1 to 5 hours. "Holy Effin Shite!" the guys yells. Ok, he thinks, how am I going to get these penguins to the zoo? Just then, a guy pulls up in a huge SUV. "You need any help?" SUV guy asks. "Sure do! I have to stay here for the mechanic, but can you take these penguins to the zoo for me -- I'll give you $100?" The SUV guy takes the $100, says he will, and starts piling the penguins into his SUV. Then, in a cloud of dust, they're off and the guy is left with his truck.

That night, the guy is still waiting by his broken down rig for the shifty (non-union) mechanic who keeps putting him off with excuses about how the guy he sent 'didn't see him' and how the directions he gave must've been bad, etc... when he knows for a fact the lazy bastard never even came looking for him. Anyways, he's out on the side of the road having a smoke and doing tai chi to pass the time when he sees the SUV from that morning stop on the other side of the highway with all the penguins hanging out in back drinking sodas and chasing each other around havin' a grand old time. "What in blazes is going on?! I thought you were going to take those penguins to the zoo!" he shouts across the traffic. "I did," SUV guy says, "we had such a good time and some money left over so I thought I'd take them to see a movie next."
Wow. I feel like I'm getting better at this joke thing already...
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